Thursday, November 6, 2008

Today

was the stupidest sequence of events ever.  Went into psychology class to learn absolutely nothing as usual.  I was really excited when I signed up for psychology.  I thought for sure I'd learn some interesting things.  Nope, nothing.  Today we talked about the influence of mass media on the individual.  Yeah?  Ordinarily, I would generally find this topic interesting but since the fuckface for a teacher, decided to do the most bland and incomprehensible lecture ever, I couldn't help but want to explode.  Fucking explode and take all the other retards in the class with me.  I can't even begin to imagine how the fuck these shit-machines even got to college.  Honestly.  Anyway, the lecture proceeded despite my protests.  So not only did the fuckeface not teach me a god damn thing, the whole time he was talking about everything through a sociological perspective.  Which again I wouldn't mind if my next class didn't happen to be Sociology.  "Oh class look at how these minorities are stereotyped in these movies.  I bet you never knew that happened before.  Oh look video games are violent.  I bet that blows your mind."  I just want him to teach me fucking something already.  I took psychology before, in high school, and that kind of was obliterated by a fucking tornado.  So I was kind of hoping to finish what was started.  But that is starting to look pretty fucking grim.

In some other news
There was one thing I was going to do today that I didn't get to.  There is a girl in my psychology class who seems nice but never speaks.  She isn't really anything special aesthetically but she seems peaceful.  I seem to have an affinity for things calm in nature.  Anyway, my plan was to talk to her after class.  She appears like she could use a friend and some form of divinity knows I could use some more of those myself.  However, my plan was quickly obliterated by my sociology teacher.  

As I proceeded to communicate. I'm abruptly interrupted,  "BRIAN!  Can you come with me for a second I need to talk to you."  Are you fucking kidding me?  I have said like 3 words in her class and never have I gave even the slightest inkling that I enjoyed her or the class.  So I figured it must be something pretty important for her to call me into her office like that.  No.  She asked me to stay so she could tell me how well I did on her test and how smart I was.  Bitch I don't fucking care.  Accolades are nice and everything but don't stop me and waste my time for that shit especially when I don't deserve them.  I know I sound like a dickmongrel right now but when someone I don't respect or care about gives me some form of compliment, I cannot honestly say that any part of me gives a fuck.  I mean it's flattering and all but if thats all you have to say don't stop me.  Don't pull me aside and make me watch you flail around your office just for you to say something nice.  Maybe if she taught me something.  Maybe if her class was the least bit interesting.  Maybe if she knew the subject she was trying to teach.  Maybe then I would care.  Instead the class is basically like a come-waste-your-time party.  I advise anyone considering this field or course to reconsider.

This is seriously what went down today in class:

Teacher:  "Oh what is that word I'm thinking of!!?!"
Random douche:  "Racism?"
Teacher:  "Yeah that!!"
Teacher:  "haha I... yeah don't do that."

Don't do what?  Don't do racism?  A noun?  Seriously?  I couldn't help but laugh a little aloud and at least contemplate putting a dildo on her car windshield with something engraved in it like "Nigger".  Then the conversation progressed into a discussion about segregation in the United States prior to Brown v. Board of Education.  CAN YOU BELIEVE THEY SEPARATED BLACKS AND WHITES?! OMG RIGHT?!  HOW CRAZY IS THAT?  I KNOW YOU DIDN'T LEARN ABOUT THIS IN 6th GRADE!!  At least I have philosophy and that cool guitar class to look forward to next semester.  

Later...
The day got much better when I got to talk to some old friends.  Interesting conversation about how exactly to get a girl to like you:

Rippin:  I was at this party and she started talking to me.  I don't even know dude I was drunk so I was going with it.  I guess she gave me her number and now we've been texting since.
Rippin:  I told her she looked sexy at the party.
Me:  You said the word sexy in real life?
Me:  hahaha thats straight lametown.  Everyone knows you don't use the word sexy in real life.
Nick:  Tell her she looks beautiful or gorgeous
Me:  Only say that if you never want to touch a boobie
Me:  If you want to say she looks good tell her she is a sex bomb or a sexual explosion or something like that.
Me:  Or you add bear or monster to the end of any compliment you may give.  Call her a slutmonster and she will be practically eating out of your hand
Rippin:  I was thinking about saying something about Poke'mon since she likes that
Me:  .....
Nick:  Tell her you want to show her your pokeballs
Rippin:  I'll show her my slytherin
Me:  Nigger you can't be talking about harry potter and Poke'mon at the same time.  Even if you did tell her all those pretty little nothings I mentioned.
Nick:  That's right dude you got to show her your Ekans dawg.
Me:  hahahahaha your so gay.  I fucking love you dude.  What he needs, is to show her his Arbok son.  He's a fucking cobra.  Be like 'hey baby if you're not careful he might spit something in your eyes.'
Rippin:  uhh
Nick:  hahahaha 
Me:  Trust me.

My methods have never really actually helped me at all.  Ever.  Except for that crazy bitch demographic.  Im fucking DiCaprio to them hoes.  

Another Conversation about gay love

Nick:  I like what you wrote there.  It was nice.
Nick:  I guess what I'm really trying to say is that I love you.
Me:  haha
Nick:  I mean it.
Nick:  Fuck I'm sick
Me:  Sick of my wiener not being in your butt.
Nick:  It's true
Me:  Word?
Nick:  Mhmm
Rippin:  You guys are so fucking gay
Me:  Whats gay about two dudes loving each other?
Me:  Enjoying a weiner in your butt every now and then by your man lover is beautiful
Nick:  I love you
Me:  Theres nothing gay about two dudes skeeting on each other and getting stuck together a little bit.
Me:  That's just science

That's almost verbatim.  Just for clarification Im not gay.  Or Bi.  I just thought it was funny or something.

Wow I just read this over and I sound like a prickmonster.  I usually don't cuss as much as today, but it seemed fitting today for some reason.  Also, I would like to apologize for the length and lack of interesting content.  I kinda just wanted to put my thoughts down before I go to bed.

1 comment:

hooray4cookies said...

I am SOOO stealing the line 'Let me show you my pokeballs.'

Hahahaha.