Flew to Alabama to visit my friends and to see my little step sister. I get there and only one person is at the airport. At least 5 said they would go.
Wasted a lot of time because apparently my "friends" had better shit to do than see/hang out with me.
Had an ex try to fuck me over again and was prepared to let her until she slipped up. But got a free dinner out of it so it's cool.
Me and my friend drove 12 hours to Savannah, GA. and back to visit our mutual best friend Matt. We watched his band played and they sucked. While watching this weird semi goth chick found it necessary to hug me constantly and find me on Myspace later that night.
I became comfortable with the thought of losing my friends.
I nearly cried when Sean moved though. We were sharing my bed for like a week. And that night I could not sleep at all. Wow that sounds super gay.
My last night in town and no one really wanted to hang out. End up having a gathering at a friends house in which no one really acknowledged my existence so much as indulged themselves in alcohol and marijuana and eventually maybe regret. I can't even tell you how pissed I was.
Me: Yeah, it's my last night in town so I just kind of want all my friends together for one last night.
Friends: That sucks man
Anthony: Nick you still want to get drunk tonight?
Nick: fuck yeah
Friends (in unison): hell yeah
Anthony: Well we can go over to my house and drink... Oh but Kate is being a bitch so I don't know
Russell: Why don't we just go drink at Brian's house until Kate gets off then we go to her house
Me: Wait what?
Anthony: You mind if we come over to your house for a little bit and drink until Kate gets off then we can leave?
Me: (shrugs)
Anthony: thanks man we won't be at your house long.
So yeah that totally happened in front of my face. I wanted to hang out with them. And they totally forgot about me. This is the reason why I'll never drink. I never want to be so consumed by some chemical as to be my sole motivation for a "good time". Could not wait one fucking night. I wouldn't have really cared if they drank if they just would be my friends while doing so.
So Kate comes over to my house and is like Brian you should come by too. I'll cook you some dinner and we can hang out. She was the only who offered to hang out or even seemed interested in doing so. But when we all get to her house it pretty much consists of John being a total douche as usual and everyone else drinking and smoking and being completely miserable. I was starting to get physically sick. I almost puked twice. First time that my mental status had really directly negatively impacted my physical well being. I pretty much sat silently at the table listening to my ipod watching my friends deteriorate. Any contributions I made to a conversation were quickly forgotten. So I gave up on that. I gave up on a lot of things then.
Oh man I almost forgot. At that shitty band show there were these 3 16 year old girls. And well, they pretty much made me hate everything about everything but at the same time made me laugh. As one picked up a cigarette the others quickly followed suit. You had to see this shit. It was like a fucking train. One took a sip of beer, they all did. Every-time, it was always in unison. Like something out of a movie. God I really hate a lot of shit right now.
3 comments:
I'm constantly being let down by my friends in the exact same way. Recognition is the only thing I need from a friendship and it's the only thing I'm ever neglected.
16 year old girls make me sad. I know that's a bit hypocritical considering the fact that I am one, but I never will understand how the excuse "everyone's doing it" is a legitimate reason to do something that can endanger your life.
Both of my parents smoke and drink and I don’t really see the point in even trying it. I'm not at all curious. I’ve already seen its effects on multiple family and on both of my parent’s health. It's seems almost pointless.
I think we can learn from other people's mistakes. Most people don't. We have willpower. Others don't.
I kind of just included you in that. From what I could gather about you it seems fitting though.
And about friendship. I think the problem is that most of our peers have had the luxury of having friends. And so the typical behavior is to take it for granted. The selfish nature of people almost always eventually decomposes any relationship let alone friendship. At least thats what I think.
You assumed correctly. I only ever learn from other people's mistakes it seems.
I hate selfishness. I try to avoid it as much as possible, but it seems to be entirely inevitable. But, yeah, I can agree with that. It's easier to take someone for granted when you feel like they care about you as much as you care about yourself. When, in fact, they are expecting the exact same thing from you. The egotistical motives of two separate people can never coexist peacefully.
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