Saturday, August 28, 2010

Building Steam

My music is apparently depressing. I never really realized the sadness in nature of a lot of the music I listen to until I play it around someone else. I don't hear the sorrow and such I suppose. To me it's beautiful. It's a reverberation of life itself. A rallying cry for the humanity in all of us. I'm actually lifted up when I listen to my "sad" music. I wonder how strange that is. That music like this makes me happy. Or if it is even strange at all.
The best music is the shit that we can hold an image of in our minds and just be glad for it to exist. Because that delicious tune harmonized with who you are/were. You feel your soul sync to the artist. Maybe, not the artist specifically or even the song but perhaps what it represents. The feeling that in any moment you were not alone. God wasn't with you, or your passed loved ones, or whatever else you may believe in. But everything that ever was smiles upon you. Everything that has ever happened was built up for that moment when you listened and understood. You are you. I loved driving late at night in the rain for this very reason. Everything seems so clear. You are entirely aware of where you are, in that car, passing through time itself and it feels as if the blood you now feel coursing is composed of something warm and good. You can't help but smile. You know you will forget later on but for this instant you have shed your mortality. The magic of feeling yourself as yourself. This is the majesty of music.

I take back what I said about my speech class. It. Fucking. Blows. Harder. Than. Everything. That. Has. Ever. Blown. I really cannot begin to express my disappointment in having that class. I'm trying my best to try and like it but I've already given up. I am but a man.

I'm having a tremendous amount of anxiety about calling Tasha. Her birthday is a few days and I promised to call. Fuck.

My biology class is pretty awesome it turns out. Everyone in there is dumb as fuck which is lame as shit but I'm kind of used to it by now. Also, me and the teacher get along really well so thats pretty neat. Plus, I think this chick I got partnered with thought I was flirting with her or something because she totally gave me her digits.

Astronomy is fucking amazing. Take that class.

Child Development is still pretty interesting.



I'm getting better at being me.

3 comments:

Pairsa said...

I loved reading this. In fact, this was probably my favorite thing you've written so far.
It's not strange to like sad music. It's the most honest thing in the world. And it's hard to find anything honest anymore. That's why I makes me happy. Or, rather, it brings me back to myself.

Brian said...

!!!!!! Well I'm glad you liked it!

And I totally agree with what you just said. There's a certain amount of sincerity and passion that just makes you feel alive. Or as you said brings you back to yourself.

Oh music why are you so grand

Unknown said...

interesting.... :)