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"So I tell the whole world that it can kill itself" - The velvet teen

"Is it my fault if this was planned?.. and yes... it was" - The Early November

Those are just some tasty lyrics I've been thinking about.

I started my fall semester this week and so far my classes seem pretty alright.

Speech = Snorefest as nothing that has come from the 2 classes so far proved in any way interesting. However, the teacher is a total babe and that makes the class pretty alright. Oh and we were forced to get to know people and I got partnered with some girl who looked EXACTLY like an ex of mine and I think she thought I was flirting with her or something because the next class she had gotten all dressed and fancied up and proceeded to talk to me again about all kinds of lame things.

Astronomy = Nerdy ass teacher with glasses and long hair in a ponytale and that whole bit. But on the first day of class he was talking about dark matter and dark energy which was pretty epic. Also, he's actually cool and astronomy is crazy interesting so that is my favorite class. And I think I'll look forward to going to it.

Child Development = Surprised me by how interesting it really is. Most everything we are dealing with is psychology which is always awesome to learn about. And also I sit by a large guy with a sick beard and 2 exceptionally fine females. Which is pretty fucking epic.

Biology = haven't gone to that class yet but I'll keep you posted.

So I have no idea what I'm doing with my life. Some days I decide to focus on my writing and just go into English and then nights like tonight I decide that music is my true calling and that I should be pursuing that no matter what. I just need to find a wealthy, lonely lady who is at least tolerable and marry her. That way I can just spend my days thinking, writing, and trying to make music like I do right now. Basically a sugar momma.

There's a girl that wants to come visit me. She is pretty and whatnot but she insists that we become boyfriend/girlfriend but I really am not down with that. First off, I'm not trying to start another long distance fiasco. Second, she is not someone who I want to hang with for extended periods of time. Third, who the fuck cares about titles that much? Fucking nuts why can't people just like each other and then be together. All of these crippling formalities brought on by "tradition" and other shitty shit. I like her but I'm not IN LIKE with her. And the whole situation is becoming bizarre because this whole thing was her idea and the whole reason she is doing it is because she wants to do me. But then she tries to use "no sex" as leverage against me to get me to ask her out. You can't use something you want more than me as a bargaining chip for yourself to get me to do something. I think I worded that as confusing as possible. And furthermore, if I said, "No I don't want to date you" she would still come to visit me.

I swear I'm drowning in my mind sometimes.

It's my vestibular system. Had a 5 hour appointment with a neuro-psychologist and he found that the damage from my accident was in my vestibular system. It explains everything perfectly but of course is incurable. And in case you didn't know the vestibular system is just the shit in your inner ear that controls your balance and whatnot.

There is a contingency among these fiends

Martyr and reap the willing.

Endorse magnanimity and praise the skies.

For everything else below us lies.