I have an ex that I really enjoyed being with (for the most part). Now I'm wondering why I broke it off. I mean she was crazy as a mug but when she wasn't crazy it was really nice. I don't know, sometimes I really feel like I don't understand myself. Then during those same moments I feel as if I know myself too well and try to convince myself I don't. I don't want to see the things that truly drive me. That shit is really difficult to face. Anyway, I started talking to her again and am trying to offer my hand in friendship. I have a crippling fear of burning bridges that I usually hide by being apathetic. I truly believe I am until I'm mourning those burnt bridges uncontrollably.
I've been talking to a couple of girls lately. Lulu is a girl in my English class who has an awesome sense of humor and there's another girl named Rachel back in Florida who I've known for a while who I just recently started talking to again. Honestly, I think I've gotten to the point where I just want company and don't really care as to where or who it comes from.
I still miss Tasha. It's taking everything in me to not call her. I told her I wouldn't call her again until her birthday which is several months away but it's so hard when I keep coming across shit that reminds me of her. Which is at least 70% of everything.
2 comments:
I'm kind of late on this comment; I'm finally getting some time to read these.
So, these chicks sound like rebounds. They're distractions, it seems.
However, I like the sound of this Lulu girl. An "awesome sense of humor" is a good thing to have, so long as it's a smart sense of humor. I would stay away from the one that's off her rocker. How exactly was she "crazy as a mug"?
They were.
Lulu and all the rest were sad attempts at stabilizing life. My ex that's crazy is not a cool crazy. She's a bi-polar-esque lady who craves attention more than any person I've ever met. I'm at a point now where I just don't care about all this crap anymore. It's all crap. I'll get over this shit and myself soon enough though.
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