As I'm sitting here typing this out, it's like I feel this inner drift in to itself. It's warmth is among the most hospitable I've ever felt. So benign. But at least some part malevolent. I just haven't found that part out yet.
Also I'd like to know if anyone out there is really legit? Is there really anyone among us who isn't solely motivated by self-interest? Or is everyone so used to all of their contrived, socially adapted, shitspew that such a concept fails to reach them? No. It's not because of it's vast requirement for intellectual capacity but by the simple fact that they have all been lying to each other for so long it is the undisputed truth. Kind of like God. I genuinely care (as much as my mind allows) for everyone. I would do anything for anyone. I don't expect, require, or even desire a reciprocation of that favor. I just don't want anyone to have to suffer if they don't have to. If I can take the burden away I have no problems doing so. And so when this happens I think to myself, "It's only one more thing. You can handle it." And when they have drained me of all I'm worth and have abandoned me; I still won't regret my decision. I would do it again. and again. Hoping that one time I actually reach them. I break through. I remain helplessly optimistic about such things. Although painfully aware that my efforts will not work. I think they call such behavior masochism. Whatev.
Part of a song I've been working on.
This thing in my chest
has made it's way to yours
and sometimes
you forget to breathe
It's gay, I know.
2 comments:
I came to that same feeling a few months ago. Accepting solitude is something everyone has to do. It gives you a more comfortable life in general. The result is you end up living your life instead of waiting for something to happen so it can start.
"Is there really anyone among us who isn't solely motivated by self-interest? Or is everyone so used to all of their contrived, socially adapted, shitspew that such a concept fails to reach them?" I can't even explain to you how many times I think about this shit a day. Whenever I read your blog posts, it’s ridiculous how many things you've been able to put into words I never could. Thank you.
Btw, your song = not gay. Let it work itself out without judgment. All things, even people, tend to come out better that way.
Again, this comment is way to long and I keep taking up more space with each word I type. Sorry :/
You make a very good point. I haven't really thought of it like that.
Also, I'm glad you enjoy my writing. :)
Eventually though my writing is bound to improve. I'm super excited to see what kind of music and things I could come up with when that happens.
lol super long comments are in right now. So you're fine.
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